Oh god, where do I even start with this? This is one of those songs that makes you tear up and think, "you know what, life is beautiful". It's soft and sweet and beautiful, and it makes me feel loved. It's a comfort song if there ever was one.

You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly even after death
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist

I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes

I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

Sleeping At Last really has a knack for writing songs that make me see the beauty in the world (the painful parts included). They give me hope for the future. This one reminds me that sometimes you have to find your own beauty, and that even the mundane is wonderful.

I'm turning out the lights
To remember how to see
'Til a renaissance takes place
And resuscitates the colour of paint and divinity

As if God hid the building blocks
Of every beautiful thing
In this game of hide and seek
I can't help but think
That ordinary has swallowed the key

Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust
For a moment, we get to be glorious
Ice sculptures, adorned in light
Sand castles built tall, in between the tides

Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor
Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure
One day, I'll wear it all on my sleeve
The insignificant with the sacred unique

But I've fallen in love with a ghost
I lost my balance when I needed it most
And this blurry photograph is proof
Of what, I'm not sure, but it feels like truth

I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here
It's been forever since I came up for air
Flashlight in hand, determined to find
Authenticity only poetry could even begin
To try to describe

Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust
For a moment, we get to be glorious

Get to be glorious
Get to be glorious

What if we already are
Who we've been dying to become
In certain light, I can plainly see
A reflection of magnificence
Hidden in you
Maybe even in me

It's all the emotion in this song that gets to me. It builds over the full ten minutes, and by the end, it feels like I've been on a journey with the singer. Some of its lyrics hit especially hard: "who were we before we were ashamed?" got written down in my journal because that's a fantastic question to think about.

I've been dredgin' the lake of my soul for a place I've never been
Scattering the last of my thoughts to capture a whim
Filled my lungs to limit
Found why we stay in denial
On this unclimbed stairway
Watching life go by
I'll make it easier on those of us who don't know that I am still here
Imagining dialtone schemes

When I lost myself in the dark charade
But I promise: my performance was flawless
I lost myself in the dark charade
And I swear I'm far more crazy than the rumors make me out to be
Crazy,
Crazier than me

All we are is all we are
Featureless with inside scars
We sink through walls and float right through it all
If all we are is what they say
We'll become them along the way
Who were we before we were ashamed?

Don't tell them the cause between fragments of all of us
Still the rain to rhyme the reason
Takes some time to find the one
To find the soul to make me god enough
That I could save us all
And do you love me now that I can save us all?
Do you love me now that I can save us all?
Do you love me now?

If you'll just stand over here we'll find a place where you can waste away
Sorry it's not what you sought, but superstition is all we brought today
I'll return you to the Wind for circumstantial assurances, love
Sold the sea to buy the ship
I think I may have fucked up things again
Found a way to make your soul alive, to make you slide

So who will be the first in line?
This was all an unfortunate mistake
Do you recall a little bit of innocence, a time when we could still forgive and forget?
I remember plastic pills and crystal balls within syringes filled, filling up with
Algorithms, circuitry - this fluid frame has shown me things
I fear, I know, I believe
So who will be the first in line?

They're not there, they're not there
Don't look at them
Don't look: stare with your menacing cinder eyes
At the least of us who've given their lives
Where the sanguine ought to be we pale in the light we bend
Oh, enough said.
Where's the love, you liar?

All I can say is that the Audiotree version is the one you want. I was bawling.

Mom, I'm tired
Can I sleep in your house tonight?
Mom, is it alright
If I stay for a year or two?

Mom, I'll be quiet
It would be just to sleep at night
And I'll leave once I figure out
How to pay for my own life too

Mom, would you wash my back?
This once, and then we can forget
And I'll leave what I'm chasing
For the other girls to pursue

Mom, am I still young?
Can I dream for a few months more?

This song really embodies recovery for me- learning to love oneself, accepting who you are, and embracing yourself. The lyrics are fantastic, and their delivery is even better. I can't listen to this without crying because it's just that powerful (and I was warned about that by the person who recommended it to me, so this isn't uncommon!). Set aside some time to take this one in if you listen.

I found a small red boy inside my tummy
With three dollars in change and a Milky Way Lite
In my occasional pursuit to find something more meaningful
Than yet another word that rhymes with "die"
I cut him out and put him on my table
His shallow-breathing chest would fall and rise
His South of Heaven shirt was way too big for him
His horns were long and sharp
And then, he opened up those eyes that said:
"I am, I am, I am, I am the truth!"

I showered him with love and adulation
One day, he was just as tall as me
I showed him all the books that I was raised on
Your Madeleine L'Engles and D'Aulaires Mythology
And in a montage that could warm the heart of Hitler
I raised him up, so proud and motherly
I swore that I was glancing in a mirror
When in the language that I taught him
Oh God, he began to speak— he said:
"I am, I am, I am, I am the truth
I am, I am, I am, I am the truth!"

And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector
Broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture
His tongue became a staircase, his uvula the knocker
Of an ornate wooden door that led me straight into my future
His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures
And I became forgiveness; I transformed into the closure that I lost
When I learned about the tragedy of all of us
I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us
Incorrigible illness in the loved ones in and out of us
I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us
I walked through the hallway to a room of only mirrors
Reflecting me in bondage, so I watched myself get freer
I let my horns grow longer; I observed my skin get redder
My soul became a hammer; I started to feel better
My hatred turned to pity; my resentment blossomed flowers
My bitter tasted candy; my misery was power
The truth in me grew brighter— my nature and my nurture

No more shame, no more fear, no more dread!
I am, I am, I am, I am the truth!

Another song that resonates for mental health reasons. If you've ever dealt with anxiety, then you know exactly what this song is about to me. Something about personifying my fear has been really helpful, and seeing it spoken out like this gave me compassion for it that I didn't know I could feel. It also reminds me that the only way out is through- fear won't go anywhere if you don't do things despite it.

Hello
My name is Mr. Fear
I wish I had a faster therapy
I've come
To mind control your needs
Tonight I'm gonna star all of your leads

You know
I'll never disappear
Now get me out of here
Just trust in me, my dear
No cure is coming near

How long
You'll call me insincere?
I'm not here to fulfill your parody
How come my song becomes unreal?
You never understand my melody

You know
I'll never disappear
Now get me out of here
Just trust in me, my dear
No cure is coming you know
I'll never disappear
Now get us out of here
Don't fight with me, my dear
Why can't I be in here?

'Cause you make me feel
Like I'm so alone
I know it's not real
But it's in my soul
And I just can try to face
The dark inside my head

You know
I'll never disappear
Now get me out of here
Just trust in me, my dear
No cure is coming you know
I'll never disappear
Now get us out of here
Don't trust in me my dear
What cure is coming near?

While this is a song about sleep paralysis, I've always re-interpreted it as being about trauma. It's been one of the only songs I've found that starts to approach what that's like, so it's taken on a deeper meaning for me.

(x2)
You wouldn't believe
The things that I have seen
I wouldn't expect you to
You've never been asleep

(x4)
I got this feeling that we're dead
I got this feeling that we're dead
And there's nothing more

Across the sea
We're both fixed in a dream
There's an island just like this
A person just like me

You couldn't conceive
The possibility
That though he loves all of us
He's given up on me

(x4)
I got this feeling that we're dead
I got this feeling that we're dead
And there's nothing more

This is alive
The dead man
Possesses me
And there's a shortens of breath
There's a weakness of me

(x3)
I got this feeling that we're dead
I got this feeling that we're dead
And there's nothing more

But what if we're dead
But what if we're dead
And there's nothing more
Yeah there's nothing more

I keep coming back to this song when I need a push to do something difficult- a reminder that I have a path to walk, and even if it's hard, it's important. It's also a song that's comforting when I start feeling bad for struggling with something. Everyone's got their own form of madness. It's okay.

I grew up seeing things a little differently, appearing
Disappearing, hardly innocent, nor
Tied down to the ground
I learned to roll and tumble with the punches
Glory in my stripes and spots
Walk by invisible and never make a sound

But heavy is the crown that's always hidden
Tender is the heart you never see
Hard and fast shines the grin that we flash, but there's a vulnerable stripe or two on me
Maybe any place outside of Wonderland
Is not for me, my friend
If I leave my grin behind, remind me
That we're all mad here
And it's okay
Sun up, sun down the shadows hide me down in
Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way
But if you find it in your dreams, you can
Find it at your dayjob
Somewhere south of Hell
Take the path to left or right with
Just your gut to guide you
The story is not for anyone else to tell

Go down the rabbit hole and out the other side
You can't go home in the middle of the
Magic carpet ride
You gotta greet the sun before his
Lovely daughter moon
You can't forsake the journey for the
Safety of your room
Until you learn your lesson well

I have learned to see and hear
Everybody loud and clear
But the truth comes out in riddles that are
Safe enough to share
That's how it is in songs, you see
And stripes always look good on me
Whether or not I'm really there (smile hangs in the air)
But heavy is the burden of the wise ones
When no one understands a word they say
The Jabberwock never bothered anyone
But nobody believes him to this day
And why should they?

If I leave my grin behind, remind me
We're all mad here
And it's ok
Sun up, sun down the shadows find me out in
Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way
But if you find it in your dreams
You can find it at your dayjob
Somewhere south of Hell
Take the path to left or right with
Just your gut to guide you
The story's not for anyone else to tell

You gotta go down the rabbit hole and
Out the other side
You can't go home in the middle of the
Magic carpet ride
You gotta greet the sun before his
Lovely daughter moon
You can't forsake the journey for the
Safety of your room
Until you learn your lesson well

Is it the stripes or the spots you see?
Was it hearts or diamonds, baby, led you here to me?
Darling, you know better than to trust a pack of cards!
What have we learned
The world is never as mad as it could be
If I leave my grin behind, remind me
We're all mad here
And it's ok!

Gotta love re-interpreting songs about relationships! Oddly enough, I see this song as being about avoidance and/or dissociation. About being so afraid of something that you drown trying to avoid pain, but the only way out is through.

Some ancient call
That I've answered before
It lives in my walls
And it's under the floor

If this was meant for me, why does it hurt so much?
And if you're not made for me, why did we fall in love?

A knock at my door
I thought I was alone
Unaware of what I've thought I needed
I dropped like a stone

If I'm not mistaken, then I was the last to know
And if you return for me, I'd never want for more

You're dislocated
Don't be like that
And you smile when you dive in
Like you're never coming back
So hold my body
Yeah, hold my breath
See your face when I black out
I'm never coming back

Fear of the water
Fear of the water

You're dislocated
Don't be like that
And you smile when you dive in
Like you're never coming back
So hold my body
Yeah, hold my breath
See your face when I black out
I'm never coming back

You're dislocated
Don't be like that
And you smile when you dive in
Like you're never coming back
So hold my body
Yeah, hold my breath
See your face when I black out
I'm never coming back

Fear of the water
Fear of the water

Given that I kind of live in a capitalist dystopia at this point, this one resonates. It's some inspiration to fight back and refuse to back down on the things that matter most.

Close your eyes and sleep
Ignore all the burdens that you keep
Come whatever may
They could never harm you anyway

Stirrings in the wind
Resonates a whisper from within
Warnings from afar
Telling you to heed the morning star

Waking from the dream
Witnessing the smoke that's rolling in
The end is what you fear
The scent of embers lingers in the air

It`s like a web
There is no escape from
It’s got you trapped
And you long for freedom
Every wish, every dream was granted
Never knowing what they demanded
You see the wall how it's getting higher
You want to fight but you're all divided
It’s not a world everyone can thrive in
Is this the world we were meant to grown in?
Somebody tell me where are we going?

A brave new world will rise
If we do not act upon its lies
Hold your tongues no more
Learn from all the ones who came before

Catch the wind and fight the storm
Through the fury we're holding on
Take your time but not too long
Make it worth the time you own
You woke a fire inside of me
Fanned the flame and made it breathe
You woke a fire inside of me
Inside of me
Inside of me

Gay love song. What's not to love?

If I asked you now
Will you be my prince?
Will you lay down your armor
And be with me forever?

When you open me
All the power in me moves
How you want to see
All the depths of me real
When you open me
All the power in me moves

I feel real
I love you
Love you
I love you
Love you

When I look into your eyes
There's a danger inside
When I see the edge
I can never hide

See me
Running (x15)
To you, from you, to you

There's a strange love inside
It's getting louder and louder and louder and louder and louder
There's a danger I can't hide
Who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

I'm in love, I'm in love (x17)
Love, love, love

Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny
Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny

There's a strange love inside
It's getting louder and louder and louder and louder and louder
There's a danger I can't hide
Oh, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

I'm in love, I'm in love(x7)
I'm in love (two men in love)